A lawyer famous for defending people who wave knives about dangerously in public has called for the the wearing of stab-proof vests and chainmail to be made compulsory.
The lawyer, known as Mr Loophole – who has earned a reputation for getting those who aimlessly waft knives about near other people cleared of all charges – has said that in addition to abiding by all laws, the general public should also have to wear stab-proof vests and chainmail.
“Thanks to developments in technology knives are now much safer for the people who wield them,” Mr Loophole said. “The general public, on the other hand, are incredibly vulnerable and wearing stab-proof vests and sporting chainmail – which will cut down on deaths and injury – should be made mandatory.”
The millionaire lawyer is known as Mr Loophole thanks to his astonishing ability to clear knife-wielders of serious charges with the most extraordinary explanations or technicalities. In 2009 a man slashing with a samurai sword in a crowded shopping centre was cleared by a jury when Mr Loophole explained to the court that the man was simply pointing out directions to a confused group of Japanese tourists. And in 2011 a man waving a meat cleaver outside a school playground was again cleared thanks to Mr Loophole, who suggested that the man was simply hungry and doing ‘preparation slicing’ before cooking his lunch.